


Someday These’ll Be The Good Ole Days

by daggersandribbons



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff and Smut, Gay Sex, Harley x Ivy, High School, Light Angst, M/M, Multi, Nygmobblepot, slight Zsaszlepot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-25
Updated: 2019-01-25
Packaged: 2019-10-15 21:15:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17536418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daggersandribbons/pseuds/daggersandribbons
Summary: just a good ole high school fic!





	Someday These’ll Be The Good Ole Days

Right on time, the time being seven in the morning, Ed knocked on the door. He had a morning routine for school days. Come to his boyfriend Oswald’s home, get ready while Oswald sleeps, then help prepare breakfast while Oswald wakes up. He could get ready at his own home, but then he’d run the risk of waking his father.

“Good morning!” Gertrud greeted, reaching up to pinch his cheeks. She was a sweet woman, though she seemed to be a little naive. Though Ed and Oswald were blatantly a couple, she was convinced they were just friends. 

“Good morning Ma’am, i trust you slept well.” He greeted. Gertrud nodded. 

“I did, your advice about tea before bed really helped. I’m making eggs and toast for breakfast, how would you like them?” She asked. 

“I’ll take scrambled,” he responded before heading to Oswald’s room. He turned the doorknob, stepping into the pitch black room. Angsty synth-pop played over Oswald’s small speaker setup as Ed flopped onto the lump of blankets that contained his boyfriend.

“Get off unless you want a pair of scissors to the neck.” Oswald grumbled. 

“What was that? Can’t hear you under all those blankets.” Ed teased, pulling the blankets away enough to reveal Oswald’s face. His hair was sticking up every which directions, like an ungroomed birds feathers. Ed stood up, making his way to Oswald’s closet where he kept a few of his own outfits. He chose a light blue short sleeve button up and some khakis. As he stripped his clothes off to change, he could feel Oswald’s eyes on his back. 

“Your butt looks nice in your underwear, are those the ones my mom bought you?” Oswald commented as Ed slipped his khakis on. 

“They are actually. Very nice, very soft.” Ed replied. 

“How about you come over here and let me feel how soft they are?” Oswald suggested. Ed chuckled and shook his head. Oswald got out of bed and limped to his desk. A car wreck over winter break left Oswald with a permanently disfigured ankle. He probably needed crutches, but was far too stubborn. The light of the two desk lamps dimly lit the room, revealing his poster covered walls. He put on some foundation and eyeliner while Ed made sure Oswald had finished his homework. 

“Oz, where is your Government study guide? It’s due today.” Ed asked. It was a known fact that Oswald usually didn’t do his homework prior to meeting Ed. He’d usually either pay someone to do it or just not turn it in. In return, Oswald helped Ed with his social skills. Prior to their relationship, Ed was a loner. But Oswald’s friends quickly accepted him. 

“Damn it, I knew I forgot to do something last night...it’s in my blue folder.” Oswald had three folders for his school work: blue for classes he didn’t enjoy, purple for the classes he did enjoy, and green for his graded assignments. Ed sighed and retrieved the folder. Luckily there were only a few unanswered questions, so Ed grabbed a pencil and filled them in. 

“I’m going to go help your mom with breakfast, don’t go back to bed.” He stated, kissing Oswald on the head before exiting the room. 

Ed manned the toaster while Gertrud stirred the eggs. 

“You’re such a good boy Ed, I’m glad Oswald found a nice friend like you.” She hummed. Ed chuckled. 

“Thank you Ms. Kapelput,” 

Oswald finally made his way into the kitchen. He was dressed in a white button up, a black knit cardigan, and black pants. Around his neck was a necklace with a single pearl that belonged to Gertrud. 

“My handsome boy is finally awake! You look very nice, all the boys will be scared that you’ll steal their ladies.” She said, pinching her sons cheeks. The three sat and ate breakfast together, until Ed heard the bus brake outside of the building. They flew out, hand in hand, narrowly catching the bus. Oswald’s apartment was one of the first stops, so they had a wide choice of seats. They chose the second to last row.

Ed rummaged through his backpack as he leaned against the window while Oswald listened to his music on his MP3 player. The persistent crinkling of snack cake packaging caught Ed’s attention, and he turned to find Victor Zsasz fussing with a package of mini muffins. Victor Zsasz was one of Oswald’s only friends, they bonded over being freaks together. Oswald took an earbud out. 

“I can hear that over my music, hand it over.” He dead panned, and Zsasz passed the package over. Oswald opened it and stole a mini muffin before handing it back. 

Next on the bus was Barbara Kean, head cheerleader. She sat in front of Oswald and Ed before popping her head up and over the vinyl seat. 

“Do either of you have your Chemistry homework done?” She asked, her blonde curls bouncing along with the bus. 

“Depends, what’s the price on the prom queens perfect GPA?” Oswald responded. She groaned and grabbed her wallet. 

“How about five dollars and I don’t tell coach Bullock that you’re the one who has been sneaking in the locker room and smoking cigarettes.” She offered. Ed shot Oswald an icy glare and Oswald blushed as he grabbed his blue folder out of his backpack. He pulled the paper out and handed it to her. 

“That was you? Oz they gave an assembly on that! I thought you gave up smoking anyways.” Ed scolded, and that was true. Oswald had given up smoking, until his limp made him the laughingstock of the jocks. Since then, it was either sneak a cigarette or take a baseball bat to someone’s head. Plus it wasn’t like he did it all of the time, just most days after between gym class and lunch. Barbara handed the paper back with a five dollar bill. 

Eds first class was gym, Oswald’s was theater appreciation. While Oswald took notes on Romeo and Juliet, Ed was out on the track with his class running laps. A thin layer of fog still hung over the dewy grass around the track. Oswald would often peer out the window to watch his boyfriend, which if he squinted he could see.

The two were reunited in Chemistry class, they used to sit across the room from each other but after Oswalds tendency to stare at Ed nearly cost Zsasz his facial hair (had he had any). After that, Oswald had to swear that he’d pay attention if he got to sit by Ed, it also led to Zsasz’s new partner to be Jim Gordon. 

Third period Ed had English while Oswald had Government across the hall. Sometimes Ed would give a shy wave to Oswald, and Oswald would make some funny face in an attempt to get Ed to interrupt class by giggling.

Fourth period Ed was a teachers assistant for the Cooking 101 class, and the term assistant was used loosely. He graded papers occasionally, but usually was left to his own devices. That’s why Oswald, who technically had gym class but was exempt due to his ankle, would join him. The two would sit at the teachers desk while the teacher would walk around. 

Then it was lunch, which Oswald could usually sweet talk the lunch ladies into getting the better end of the Gotham school system dietary rule stick; and more recently, Ed had began to reap those benefits. 

After lunch, they both headed to the computer labs. Ed to Sociology, and Oswald to Yearbook. Both classes were small, though one was due to difficulty of content and was was due to difficulty to deal with the students. Yearbook housed Gotham’s cattiest students, Oswald included. Though they would never claim to be friends out of class, they all shared of bond of loving catching someone at an inopportune moment on camera. 

Sixth period Oswald went to English, and Ed to Pre-Calc. He was supposed to be in Geometry, but was given the opportunity to double up on math the year prior. Barbara Kean did the same. 

Seventh period Ed took French, and Oswald went to Geometry. Both of which were classes that frustrated them greatly. 

The duo was reunited at the end of the day for study period. The study period was supervised by Coach Bullock, meaning with some persuasion they could go outside and leave early. 

Ed came into the Chemistry class and sat in his seat, beside Oswald who was munching on a gummy bear. 

“You look sweaty,” he commented.

“Yeah...two miles...will do...that to you.” He wheezed, out of breath. Oswald smirked and licked his cheek, sending electricity through his veins. 

“ _Oz!_ ” He gasped, causing Oswald to grin. Ed loved his smile, the way the apples of his cheeks appeared as if to say hello. 

“I like you sweaty, though I guess I’m partial to you without sweat too.” He giggled. Zsasz came in seconds before the bell, sitting in his seat as the bell rang. Ed pulled out his and Oswald’s notebooks, though they only really needed one. Ed would take notes during class, Oswald used his to write and draw obscene things that would make Ed blush. He particularly liked it when they watched movies, the class was dark and Ed could run his fingers over Oswald’s inner thighs. An eye for an eye. 

Without Oswald, Ed was much more...socially awkward. He kept his nose in his book and only spoke when spoken to or about, like when Tabitha Galavan sat across the class room gossiping blatantly about Oswald to piss Ed off.

“So then I go into the locker room, to get Barbara her scrunchy, and there he sat on his knees in front of three jocks from the other team. I’d never seen a face more painted...but then he got in that wreck. Why do you think he’s all of a sudden madly in love with Nygma?”

It was bad enough he had to hear that, but the little voice in his head whispering _She’s right you know, little Eddie is too fucked up to be loved without it being a last resort_ was just adding insult to injury. He shook his head, not realizing that he was stabbing part of a broken pencil into his palm enough to draw blood. 

“...Ed? Earth to Planet Nygma? Are you okay?” Zsasz’s voice came to Ed’s attention. He looked down as his bleeding palm. This needed to be dealt with, preferably without making a scene. He wadded up some napkins to act as gauze, then used a ribbon that how somehow made its way into his jacket pocket as a wraparound bandage. 

“I’m fine, just zoned out for a second.” He muttered.

After checking in with coach Bullock, Oswald made his way to the hybrid kitchen/class room to join his boyfriend. 

“What happened to your hand?” Oswald immediately asked. 

“Nothing, it’s just a scratch.” Ed replied. 

“First of all, nothing and it’s just a scratch are two different answers and neither are answers to the question I asked.” 

“Tabitha was talking about you, about before we started dating. I know that _things_ happened before me, and it’s silly to act like the past doesn’t ex-“

“Shhh, there is no need to worry. I am truly and wholeheartedly in love with you. Plus I think it’s cute you got jealous, though I wish it didn’t cause you to harm yourself. Next time, just jab a pair of scissors in her dumb neck.” Oswald hummed. Ed chuckled, before returning to his word search. 

Zsasz, Oswald, Ivy, and Ed sat together at lunch. Ed with his usual turkey sandwich and chips, Oswald with whatever snacks he had traded with Zsasz for the meal Gertrud made, and Ivy ate chicken tenders. 

“What happened to your hand riddle boy?” She asked. 

“Tabitha happened,” Zsasz blurred out, and Ed hit him in the arm.

“Well, I can talk to Barbara about that at our cheer meeting today. She invited me to dinner afterwards too!” Ivy declared. Oswald groaned.

“When will you realize that shes flirting with you to get back at Tabitha for dating Butch?” 

“What?! She’s not flirting with me. She told me I wasn’t her type,” to which even Ed joined in on the annoyance. 

“She only told you that so you’d think she wasn’t flirting.” He commented from behind his book. 

They walked hand in hand, Ivy trailing behind before going their separate ways. Ivy and Oswald to yearbook, and Ed to Sociology. Oswald and Ivy sat closest to the teachers desk, a very handsome older man who for some reason wasted his mental space on corralling the girls and boy in the yearbook class. After those classes, sixth period just breezed by. But seventh period always came like how a pebble on a bike trail seems to come out of nowhere, ruining a good mood. 

While Oswald was nearly bored to tears listening to another lecture on the types of triangle, Ed struggled to wrap his head around conversational French. 

“It makes more sense to teach a human different languages as a child, their brains are more susceptible to retaining information.” He muttered to himself as he stared at his French notes. Had he remembered the term, Ed could have said he was feeling _l’agacement._

Eighth hour finally rolled around, and after a peach cobbler as an offering, Oswald and Ed were on their way home. They walked hand in hand, until the familiar rev of Butch’s truck filled their ears. 

“You guys need a ride?” For a burly jock, he actually was a huge teddy bear at heart. While he didn’t necessarily like Oswald, he admired Ed’s smarts. Ed was one of the few people Butch could trust to ask for help with homework without being deemed stupid. They took the offer, getting back to Oswald’s place in record time. 

“Mother, we’re back from school!” Oswald called out to Gertrud, who was mending a hole in a pair of Oswald’s pants. 

“Is your friend staying for dinner?” She replied. Oswald looked to Ed for the answer. 

“My dad works late, so I should probably go home for dinner tonight. Spend some time with mom,” Ed stated. Ed loved his mom, she was kind woman. Why she married a man who was the worst person Ed had ever had the displeasure of meeting was something he’d never understand. 

“Just me tonight!” Oswald replied as they headed to his room. He stripped down to his purple underwear and penguin socks before flopping onto the bed, letting out a long whine when Ed didn’t lay beside him. 

“Do you want to cuddle or do you want your Geometry homework done?” Ed questioned. 

“Ideally, both. But if I have to choose one, I’ll choose my handsome nerd of a boyfriend in bed with me.” Oswald made Ed feel important, like he mattered. Because to Oswald, Ed and his mother were his whole world. He would burn cities down for them. Ed chuckled and obliged, crawling into bed beside him. Oswald fussed with the buttons on his boyfriends shirt, sticking his cold hands on Ed’s warm chest. 

“I’m not handsome, I’m lanky and awkward.” Ed murmured. He couldn’t help but vocalize his thoughts, Oswald encouraged blatant honesty. 

“Edward...” Oswald sighed. 

“No really, you’ve been guys twice as attractive as me-“

“They were also half as smart, and none them I cared about. I care about you Edward, I love you like a flower loves the rain.” 

“Meaning if you’ll get too much of me you’ll die?”

“My love, to die from too much you would be an honor.” 

Ed rolled his eyes and kissed Oswald gently on the nose. 

“You’re so dramatic sometimes,” he teased. Oswald snuggled Ed’s side, pressing his nose into Ed’s exposed chest. There was no way that Oswald could breathe when he did that, but he loved it. Ed smelled like no other, he smelled like love. He began peppering his chest with kisses, suckling a small bruise onto the center of his sternum. He loved making people know who Ed belonged to. That was fine by Ed, he loved to do the same. 

“ _Ozzie!_ ” Ed hissed. It was so easy to fluster him. 

“I should’ve pulled you into the locker room for a little pre lunch rendezvous today. You looked absolutely delicious after gym, seeing you all sweaty. Reminds me of the first night I kissed you.” 

~~~

It was during a three day conference for FBLA, and Ed was roomed with Oswald. They were good friends, but the feelings they felt for one another hadn’t been expressed. While Ed was creating flash cards, Oswald was convincing the hotel bartender to give him a pint of vodka for the price of a hand job. Successful in his endeavor, Oswald smuggled the bottle to their room. 

“Hey Eddie! What’s your poison?” He asked, cracking the plastic cap off of the lukewarm vodka and swigging it. Ed shot up out of bed. 

“Oswald! Do you want to get us kicked out?” He yelped. Ed had drank a beer before, which he wasn’t a huge fan of. 

“Hmm, well if you want it gone you’ll have to help me.” Oswald hummed, mixing his vodka with some soda from earlier. Ed approached him, giving the drink a sniff before putting it to his lips. He didn’t smell the alcohol, so he decided that it couldn’t be that bad. Sipping it proved different, the bitter taste outweighing the sweetness. Ed had never seen Oswald laugh so hard. 

The two polished off almost all the bottle. Oswald was laying on the bed beside Ed, thin layer of sweat glistening on both of them. 

“Can I ask you a question?” Ed finally spoke up.

“Well, that technically was a question...but ask away. I’m an open book-“ and Ed knew that. He envied that about him. “-but I get to ask you one.” 

“How many guys have you been with?” He blurted out. Oswald had to think about the answer. Did been with mean only anal? Or did blowjobs and handjobs count too? He decided that he better just include those too. 

“Seven, though I wouldn’t call one a sexual encounter. It was more of a trial run.” Oswald answered. Ed had an itching feeling to ask just who each and every male that the pleasure of committing the act with him was. 

“My turn to ask a question, how many people have you been with? And handjobs count.” The shorter male asked. Ed froze, nervous to give his answer. He had only been with one girl, and that was putting it generously. 

“One.” A drunken blowjob from Kristen Kringle, that was Ed’s only claim to sexual fame. Not even anything beyond kissing with Isabella, his current girlfriend. Oswald was fascinated, such an innocent human. 

He decided to try something, and if it didn’t go his way he could blame the alcohol. Using his hand, he tilted Ed’s face. Oswald kissed him, his lips barely touching Ed’s. It was Ed who deepened the kiss, pulling Oswald’s body forward. Oswald broke the kiss abruptly, his face bright red. He dashed into the bathroom and Ed followed. Though he wasn’t sure what went wrong, Ed felt guilty. Why else would Oswald be sniffling? 

“Oswald? Can I come in?” He asked. Though he didn’t hear an answer, he turned the knob and entered anyways. 

“Don’t give me that look.” Oswald snapped. 

“I’m no-“

“Yes. You. Are! That puppy dog look that makes me feel like you care about me!”

Ed paused. 

“Oswald, I _do_ care.”

“Why would you care about a loser like me? I’m trash who gets passed around by every guy who wants a warm mouth to fuck. I wear makeup to be attractive but then I get my ass kicked for doing so!” Vodka brought out Oswald’s insecurities.

“Oswald...” Ed took Oswalds hand. 

“I can’t Ed, I can’t just act like that kiss meant nothing...I’ve never kissed someone I’ve been in love with before.” He sniffled. 

“Y-You’re in love with me?”

Oswald nodded his head like a kid admitting he broke the cookie jar. He fully expected Ed to run out laughing, but instead he squeezed his hand gently. 

“I-I can’t say I love you back, not when I’m with Isabella. I can however say that I care about you so much.” 

Ed stared at himself in the mirror as Oswald ran off to lick his wounds in Ivy’s room. 

_Come on Eddie, going to let your fear of people knowing you like cock keep you from the one person who truly cares?_

~~~

“Now look where we are,” Ed chuckled. They had reverted to their normal nap position, with Ed as the big spoon and Oswald as the little spoon. It was a little known fact that Ed loved Oswald’s neck, he loved licking it and running his fingertips down it. He especially loved leaving bite marks and bruises on it, it showed the world they belonged to each other. Ed gently sunk his teeth into Oswald’s pale neck, Oswald pressed his boxer clad ass against Ed’s groin. 

“Teasing me when we both know we aren’t having sex tonight, how rude.” Oswald commented. Ed didn’t like to have sex on the nights he stayed at home, and Oswald understood. Sex led to laying in bed until the last second before Ed left, and that led to showing up at home smelling like sex and having dried semen on his body. At least when he stayed at Oswald’s his mother was none the wiser about their bedroom activities. 

While Oswald and his mother had a typical supper, Ed and his mom sat awkwardly across from each other at the dinner table. He could see the bruises she tried so hard to find from her little Eddie. 

“The soup is good mom, perfect balance of spice.” He commented. She smiled. 

“Thank you Eddie, your dad said it was too spicy but I knew you’d appreciate it.” 

“You don’t have to take his criticisms, you’re a smart woman.” Ed stated. His mom gave him a confused look, then chuckled. 

“Oh Eddie, you don’t understand love because you haven’t experienced it. When you’re in love, you’ll understand.” She replied. But Ed was in love, in love with Oswald Cobblepot. He couldn’t bring himself to say “I’m in love with my best friend, he’s my world”, so he said the second thing that came to mind.

“What has a head and a tail, but no body?” 

His mom pondered the question before giving up. Ed grinned and pulled a quarter from his pocket. 

“It’s a coin.” He revealed. She smiled and clapped. 

“Oh Eddie, you’re so clever! How you come up with those so quickly I’ll never know.” 

His night took a turn for the worse when he heard the front door slam. It was ten and his dad was scheduled to work till eight, meaning two hours had been dedicated to the bar. 

“Where d’ya think yer going? Get me some dinner b-better than this SHIT!” He heard, followed by the clattering of a bowl hitting the ground. Ed put his headphones on and logged onto the group chat. It was between Oswald, Zsasz, Ivy, and Ivy’s friend from another school named Harleen. 

RiddleMeThis: what’s everyone up to tonight? 

PoisxnIvy: hanging out with Harls

EggDude: going over to my neighbors to help her clean 

PoisxnIvy: What is with you and Polish grandmas? I swear it’s a fetish 

EggDude: it is NOT a fetish I just like them as people 

XxKingPenguinxX: sitting here all alone :(

EggDude: never alone w/ ur right hand ;)

PoisxnIvy: ...ew

XxKingPenguinxX: Zsasz you’re so single it’s painful

RiddleMeThis: truly

EggDude: I may be single, but at least I hold the record as first dick sucked by Oswald 

XxKingPenguinxX: purely for educational purposes.

~~~

Victor Zsasz and Oswald Cobblepot had been friends since grade school. They were blatantly honest with each other, whether the other appreciated it or not. They also weren’t afraid to ask each other weird questions. 

“Zsasz, have you ever had a blowjob?” A young, swoopy haired Oswald asked as he hung upside down on Zsasz’s bed. 

“I mean, yeah. She doesn’t go here anymore though, why?” He replied, paying more attention to the movie on the tv. 

“Well...I started talking to this college boy. Nothing serious but I think he wants that from m-“

“And you don’t know how?” Zsasz interrupted.

“-yes. But don’t interrupt me. I mean I’m sure it’s not difficult, but I want to do it the best I can.” 

“Why don’t you practice on someone you don’t have any romantic feelings for?” 

“Who? you?” Oswald joked. Zsasz shrugged. 

“I mean, sure. It’s not like I find you attractive, and you don’t find me attractive. I don’t see any harm.” Only Victor Zsasz would be okay with his only friend casually blowing him. 

“Alright...but don’t look at me. That would make things weird.” Oswald said. So Zsasz pulled down his pants, and Oswald closed his eyes. 

“You’ve seen it before, I’m not sure why you’re closing your eyes but whatever floats your boat.” He commented as Oswald wrapped his lips around Zsasz’s member. He bobbed his head a few times until he heard a slight groan from his friend, to which he quickly popped off and wiped his mouth. 

“You just had to make it weird.” Oswald snapped. 

~~~

Ed arrived at Oswald’s apartment, only to find a small note on the door in Gertruds small handwriting.

_Went to the store, Oswald is sick so he is not going to school. Have a good day Edward._

Using his spare key, Ed entered the quiet apartment and made his way into Oswald’s room. Oswald laid in bed, he had just fallen back asleep which was indicated by his lack of a blanket nest. He decided to sit on the window sill and observe. Doing this while Oswald was awake would be awkward, having him be aware he was being studied. Plus at night Oswald was cloaked in his blankets. People were truly at their most peaceful in their sleep. 

In better lighting he wouldn’t have had to step closer, at least that’s what he told himself, trying to rationalize his actions for a later hypothetical argument. He took the time to study the most intimate piece of Oswald, his ankle. Ed blamed himself for the injury even though he wasn’t even in the state that day. 

~~~

It was a wintery Gotham afternoon when Oswald was heading a few towns over with his English partner to grab parts for a costume they could’ve gotten in Gotham had they not procrastinated. But kids will be kids, especially when neither one truly understood black ice. 

“Stop messing with the radio, it’s my dad’s car so stop playing your angsty shit. It’s hard enough to focus with the roads like this!” The boy growled. Oswald huffed and turned to dial back to the station it was on. As the chorus hit, the car skidded across a patch of ice and plummeted them downhill at a fast pace. Oswald was sure he was going to die, and he didn’t want to look busted up at his funeral so he held his arms out to block the impending debris. They drove straight into a tree, the driver was paralyzed from the neck down. Oswald got the better end of the deal, his leg broken, arms cut and burned, and a black eye. 

~~~

Oswald felt a pair of eyes on him as he woke up, he hoped it was Ed’s and not his mother’s. 

“So, you’re sick?” Ed asked. Oswald feigned a cough. 

“Yes, doctors say I have the plague. It’s coming back. But the real question is why are you standing over me?” Diverting the problem at hand by pointing out someone else’s suspicious behavior, it was one of Oswald’s many talents. 

“I-I was just uh well I was watching you,” Ed admitted, no use in lying about the obvious. 

“I can see that, but why?”

“I never get to when we’re in bed, you always sleep with all of those blankets. I saw an opportunity and took it.” Anyone else would’ve been freaked out, but Oswald found it endearing. 

“Ivy and I are ditching today to go hang out with that girl Harley, it’s only fair that I meet Ivys little girlfriend before anyone else.” Oswald paused. “You should come with us! Think of it as a couples outing.”

Ed had never ditched school. He saw school as a responsibility and ditching was avoiding the responsibility. But there were no scheduled tests that day, and surely missing one day wouldn’t kill him. 

“What time do we leave?” He asked. Oswald grinned. 

“Ivy should be here in a few hours, in the meantime come lay down with me.” Ed obliged, and it didn’t take long for Oswald to snake his hand under Ed’s waistband. He didn’t do anything beyond that without Ed’s say, he just liked to sleep with his hand at the base of his boyfriends chestnut pubic hair. The first time he did it, Ed assumed it was on accident but he quickly realized it was totally intentional. 

The taller male rolled his hips upwards, Oswald’s hand grazing his semi-erect member. Oswald smirked. 

“Oh, first you’re ditching school and now you’re wanting morning play. Hmm, I guess I can oblige~” he hummed. Ed blushed and nodded. He could be a truly dominant being, but it took some coaxing to unleash that side of him. Oswald wrapped his fingers around Ed’s long, thin member and flicked his wrist a few times before resting his head on Ed’s chest and running his thumb over his boyfriends leaking slit. Relishing in the sighs and groans falling from Ed’s lips, Oswald picked up the pace. Ed came quickly, leaving a wet spot on the front of his slacks. 

“It’s a good thing that you have other pants here, messy boy.” Oswald giggled before licking his fingers clean.

~

“So tell us about this mystery girl. We’ve talked to her in the chat but you haven’t said much about her otherwise.” Ed asked. 

“She’s wonderful! You’ll like her, she’s really into science and psychology. Also she has like six dogs!” Ivy was practically beaming. Oswald toyed with the dial on the radio. Ivy was behind the wheel, Oswald in the passenger, and Ed in the backseat. It didn’t make much sense for the tallest person to be in the back, but Oswald insisted on controlling the radio. 

“Why have we never seen a picture of her?” Oswald pried. He was nosy, but also cared about Ivy’s well being. She was like the little sister Oswald never asked for. 

“I don’t have any physical pictures of her, just mental ones. She’s insanely pretty,” Ivy replied. That phrase had dual meaning for Harley and Ivy. They pulled up to a house that could have easily been a front for drug trafficking, and Ivy could feel Oswald’s judging looks. 

“Don’t judge a book by its cover,” Ed murmured as Ivy fussed with her hair in the mirror. The three headed to the door and Oswald knocked, setting off a domino effect of dog barks. Ed counted the different barks as they happened.

“Yep, six dogs exactly.” He commented. 

“Justa min- GET OFF THE COUCH WE HAVE GUESTS! -justa minute please!” A thick Brooklyn accent rang from inside the house before hearing the sound of the chain lock being unlatched. She was perky and blonde, with wide eyes the color of the sea. Her hair was in two pigtails and she was dressed in black shorts and a red crop top, despite the cold temperature outside. Ivy and Harley embraced in a tight hug, while Oswald peered into the house. There was a severe lack of decor, but was very clean considering the amount of pets. 

“Where is my head? I haven’t introduced myself! Names Harley, how are ya?” She asked, shaking both males hands. The group stepped into the house. A small dachshund approached Oswald and yipped at him. 

“Heh, looks like you attract all kinds o-“

“Edward. If you finish that sentence you will walk home.” 

Harley whistled and one by one the dogs appeared. 

“This is my family! I’ll introduce you. You guys have already met Hot Dog, I named him that because I found him digging in the trash for a hot dog...well that and his shape.” The next dog she pointed to was a German Shepherd. “This is my special girl, well besides Ivy, her name is Holly.” Next was a male German Shepherd, with a notched ear. “This is Brutus, he’s a big sweetie.” A fluffy red and white Malamute laid at Ivy’s feet. “He’s teddy bear, Bear for short.” Finally, a tall American poodle and a pug “and last but not least, Princess and Maggie.” 

Ed crouched down to pet Maggie, chuckling at her snorting. Even Oswald participated in the puppy love, sitting on the ground to pet both Princess and Hot Dog. Ivy and Harley were in their own little world, Harley’s hands in Ivy’s back pockets while Ivy gave her gentle kisses all over her face. 

“Feel free to look around, I have nothing to hide!” Harley invited. She was giving Oswald and Ed the free pass to snoop around the house. The two headed upstairs. As Oswald opened cabinets and looked through drawers, Ed stood back and watched. 

“My dear, what are you doing?” He asked. 

“I just...I don’t want Ivy to get hurt.” Oswald sighed. 

“So your intentions are to find something incriminating?”

“Yes! But only because I care, if I find something it’s better than her finding out months down the road.” 

Ed chuckled and slipped his hand into Oswald’s back pocket, cupping his boyfriends ass. 

“W-What are you doing?” Oswald asked sternly, though he was more excited than angered. Ed wasn’t usually one to initiate such things in public. 

“Nothing, just watching.” Ed commented before running his hand over Oswald’s member. His boyfriends face was bright pink. 

“Find anything fascinating?” He questioned as Oswald leaned into the touch, his hard member straining against his pants. Ed knew that Oswald was going commando, he always did the day before laundry day. Oswald rolled his hips, now desperate for any friction. 

“You don’t know what you’re starting.” Oswald whined. 

“I know _exactly_ what I’m starting, and unless you want to be caught I suggest you follow me.” The two quickly made their way to the master bathroom. It was a standard bathroom, with a shower and a large bathroom counter with a sink in the middle and a large mirror. Oswald quickly yanked his pants down and bent against the cool laminate. On the counter sat a basket filled with special effects makeup, including a bottle of lube. Ed grinned and cracked open the bottle. He slicked his middle finger and traced around Oswald’s puckered hole before slowly inserting it. Oswald sighed softly at the pressure. 

“You’re so good to me Eddie,” 

“I’d do anything for you, you’re absolutely amazing.” 

“Then do me the honor of fucking me hard and fast, before the girls come up here.” He hissed. The idea of being caught thrilled Ed, he had never done something something so high risk. He jerked himself a few times as he covered his length in lube, using a little extra to compensate for the lack of time he had to stretch Oswald. If they were in bed, Ed would take his sweet time till Oswald begged. He liked the seeing the look of pure submission. 

“Such a naughty bird, so ready for me. Well I’ll let you indulge.” Ed slid his hard cock into Oswald, practically splitting him in two. Oswald once made a comment before they started dating that he bet that Ed’s cock was like him, long and thin...he was very much correct. The shorter male was bound to sore after this interaction, impaling himself on Ed’s length. Oswald let out a sharp whine when Ed began to thrust in and out. 

“Id be a liar if I said this doesn’t absolute thrill me.” Oswald groaned, his words going straight to Ed’s core. As cocky as Oswald was, he had significant body image issues especially after love making. Ed felt a little guilty that Oswald didn’t get to see this truly beautiful sight, to see Oswald taking him so nicely. So he decided to take full advantage of the situation, pulling Oswalds hair until his head was back enough to see himself in the mirror. 

“Look at you, such a pretty bird~” Ed purred. Oswald let out a louder than expected moan, surely heard by the girls downstairs. 

Oswald stared at his face in the mirror as he was railed by his boyfriend. He stared at his freckles, illuminated by his taffy colored cheeks. The final straw was a hard strike to Oswald’s ass, his hips thrusting forward and his orgasm rippling through him. Ed released Oswald’s hair and he fell forward onto the cold laminate. He tucked his arm under his head as Ed gave a few hard thrusts before the grand finale, filling Oswald with his warm seed. 

They quickly readjusted themselves, cleaned the offending semen off of Harley’s nice clean counter, and headed back downstairs where they were met by two very irate ladies. 

“Geez, took you long enough. Though I guess that’s more of a compliment on Eddies part.” Harley commented. Oswald’s face was flush with embarrassment, and Ed awkwardly adjusted his glasses. 

~

Edward never missed a day of school, besides the one time he skipped with Oswald. But not even in sickness did he miss school, he’d rather show up half dead. So when Oswald woke one morning to his mother telling him breakfast was on the table, he was confused. When he went to Chemistry, he was concerned when he saw the empty seat next to him. 

“Ed never misses, where is he?” Jim inquired. 

“How should I know? You think just because he’s my boyfriend that I’m his secretary? Because I’M NOT!” Oswald snapped, his words carrying through the classroom. Jim held his hands up in defense.

“Jesus, Ed isn’t here for one day and you lose all sanity.” He muttered under his breath. Zsasz quietly stood up and pushed in his chair, heading over to the pencil sharpener before Oswald promptly leapt across the phenolic topped table and tackled Jim. A normal person would’ve sat there stunned, but Jim was a fighter. Oswald got a punch in before Jim pinned him to the ground and punched him. 

“Oh, I was going to go easy on you but you screw that!” Oswald cried out before wailing on Jim, throwing in as many punches as possible before being pulled away by Coach Bullock happened to be walking down the hall. 

“Cobblepot! Gordon! Principals office NOW!” His voice boomed. Oswald stood up and dusted his clothes off before sulking to the principals office. He nervously tapped his foot as he waited to be called into the principals office. Ivy walked in, carrying a few papers. 

“What happened?!” She asked, noticing his black eye and his tear stained shirt. 

“I punched Jim Gordon, and now I’m screwed.” He sniffed. 

“First off, good job! But why are you scr-“ she paused, remembering that this wasn’t Oswald’s first fight of the year. The first was Zsasz at the lunch table over a chocolate chip muffin, ending in Oswald’s head being slammed into a table. The second was after a football game when the head quarterback made a joke about Gertrud, earning him a knife in the leg. This was Oswald’s third strike, and everyone knows that three strikes means you’re out. 

Oswald wasn’t really listening when the principal explained to him his punishment. That he was technically suspended, but after the board meeting it was clear he’d be expelled. But given good behavior, he could appeal to the board for his return the following year. His mom couldn’t save him from this one, and his dad was a stranger to him. 

Instead of heading home, he decided to walk to Ed’s. Making sure there were no cars in the driveway, he headed to the backyard and started throwing pebbles at Ed’s window.

 _Tap, tap, tap_ no matter how much he tried to ignore it, Ed still heard that pesky noise. He shucked his blanket off, waddling to the window. 

“Let me inside!” Oswald called up. 

“The back door is unlocked!” Ed coughed. Oswald walked to the back door and entered. Before heading upstairs, he raiding the fridge for a snack. Fruit cup in hand he went upstairs. Ed’s room was very neat, everything had its place. Unlike Oswald’s room, Ed’s walls were bare. 

“Why are you here? You should be in Government.” 

“Well, I sorta wont be able to go to that class any time soon...or any class. Eddie, you’re going to be upset with me but I got expelled today.” He was like a child afraid of telling his parent that he broke a lamp. Oswald was more afraid of disappointing his boyfriend than he was of death. He watched Ed’s face, searching for any trace of sadness. 

“You’re joking right?” Ed whispered, and Oswald immediately broke down into tears. He fell to his knees, completely distraught. 

“I’m an idiot, I know. My boyfriend is going to graduate and I’m going to be in high school again. We were supposed to g-graduate together, go to college and get out of t-this stupid town together! I ruined it, Ed I’m so s-sorry.” He hiccuped. Ed sat on the ground beside him and held his hand. 

“Ozzie,” Ed paused. “I love you so much, and just because you’ve been expelled doesn’t mean you’ll be held back a grade. We’ll work to get you into a program where you can still get the right amount of credits, and you will graduate. I promise.”

And Ed made good on his word. Though he didn’t graduate with Ed, he graduated a few days later at a school outside of Gotham. Gertrud and Ed sat together, two of Oswald’s biggest fans. 

“Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot,” the announcer said. Ed hugged Gertrud as Oswald made his way to the stage, he was so damn proud. 

Afterwards the three went out for dinner at the nicest Italian restaurant that Ed could afford. Gertrud sipped her wine as Ed kneeled down to tie his shoe. Oswald took his seat, glancing over at Ed to see he was on one knee. 

“I’m so proud of you. I continue to be in awe of everything you do, you’re so funny and smart and confident. I wouldn’t be me without you and I don’t want to be in a world without you. So, Oswald Cobblepot will you marry me?” 

Oswald practically tackled the man, smothering him in kisses. 

“Yes! A million times yes!” But their romantic moment was halted by Gertrud, who was clearing her throat to get attention. They looked at her. 

“You could have told me he was your boyfriend my darling boy, I would’ve been a lot stricter on him.” She chuckled. “But he’s a good boy, and he will be a good part of our family.”

**Author's Note:**

> FBLA is the Future Business Leaders of America, a business related club that I was in for 2 years and is very fun :)


End file.
